“MOMMY, Mommy, she found me, she found me.” Sixteen-year-old Alexander Dorf stood at the top of the stairs in his Tenafly, N.J., home two years ago, grinning broadly at his mother, Jami. He had just gotten a message on his Facebook wall that he’d been waiting for all his life. From a Florida woman named Terri Barber, it read: “Hi, I was just wondering if your parents’ names are Jamie & Jeff?” Alexander recognized the name; he had searched the Internet for it himself with no luck.

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It belonged to the woman who had given birth to him. Dorf and her husband, who had adopted Alexander as an infant, were not surprised. Barber had reached out to them, too, a few beats after the e-mail to Alexander. “I sent Alex a message because I found him first, but I only asked him if you and Jeff were his parents,” Ms. Barber wrote.

“I said nothing else. Please let me know if it’s O.K. Please don’t be upset.” The Internet is changing nearly every chapter of adoption. It can now start with postings by couples looking for birth mothers who want to place children, and end years later with birth mothers looking to reunite with children they’ve placed. A process that once relied on gatekeepers and official procedures can now be largely circumvented with a computer, Wi-Fi and some luck. Now, says, a Manhattan therapist (herself an adoptee) who specializes in adoption issues: “Kids, at the most vulnerable time for developing identity, are plugged in online. Download Software Free Powerpoint To Dvd Converter.

Abaqus 6.10 Html Documentation Download. Either they are savvy enough to find their birth parents, or they spend time in places like Facebook, where their birth parents can find them.” There are stories of children as young as 13 approached by birth parents online, and of children being contacted before they had been told they were adopted. Among the most cautionary of tales is that of, who was convicted of having sex with her biological son, who was 14 at the time, and whom she found on Facebook when yearly updates from his adoptive family stopped coming. “It’s uncharted territory,” Dr. What are the new rules? They are being made up as the participants — adoptees and their parents — go along. • When Linda Wachtel and her husband, Zev, adopted their daughter, Jessi, 19 years ago, things were different. Open adoption was still rare.

Birth mothers were kept at arm’s length. They did have Jessi’s birth mother’s first name, Sharyn, but were not certain of her last; she knew them as Linda and Steve (Zev, they thought, was too easy to find). For awhile they used an 800 number to communicate, set up, per the norm at the time, so that their whereabouts remained secret. A few years in, they disconnected that line. From left: Jami and Alexander Dorf and Terri Barber, Alexander's birth mother. The Wachtels assumed Jessi would eventually want to meet her birth mother but thought they would be in charge of the timing. To that end, the Wachtels were open with their daughter, who has two brothers who are not adopted, and who was always curious about her genetic roots.

As the Internet became a part of life, both Ms. Wachtel and Jessi herself would do Google searches for Sharyn periodically, but come up empty. “Mostly I wanted to know what she looked like,” Jessi says. One day, two years ago, Ms. Wachtel happened upon her son’s Facebook page, left open on a computer screen in their home. On a whim, she typed “Sharyn” and “Padula,” which was one possible last name. Up popped a photo that “was eerily familiar,” Ms.